Going through infertility was one of the toughest, most stressful, heart wrenching journey’s we ever had to go through. It was emotional, scary, and my dream of becoming a mom always felt like it was in a far off land way out of reach. Looking back on our struggle, here are five things I learned while going through the tough journey of infertility, although I didn’t realize them at the time.
I was not alone
At one point, going through infertility felt like the loneliest journey, and I felt as if no one really understood how I was feeling. My friends were moms, my sister was a mom, heck my husband was a dad. And it came so easily to all of them. Why wasn’t it coming easily to me? At first I kept our struggle to ourselves, but after around a year of trying, I started to talk about it more openly. After posting about our journey a few times on social media, I had friends reach out to me who were going through similar situations as well. I was amazed at how many women secretly suffered. It made me realize I was not alone. In fact one in eight couples struggle to conceive!
The TTC ( trying to conceive) community is a STRONG community
There are message boards, support groups, Facebook groups, etc. dedicated to women who are trying to conceive. These women are on an emotional rollercoaster month after month, failed treatment after failed treatment. But they are SO STRONG, because they continue to fight. They continue to try. They are there for each other. They lift each other up. They help one another out. They pray for each other. They understand one another. I’ve made some awesome friends through infertility Facebook groups, and am so thankful for them! If I ever had a question or needed to vent- they were always there for me!
My husband is a strong man
He saw me in tears month after month. Sometimes I’d be lying on the kitchen floor, crying my eyes out because I learned that this month was another failure. He saw me at my absolute worst, but he still remained my rock. Sure, infertility hurt him just as bad as it hurt me, but he set his emotions aside and was there for me when I had my melt downs. He was there when I needed him. He even got me a puppy to help comfort me.
There are many resources out there for us
Resolve.org is a great website to start at when you feel absolutely lost and do not know where to begin. They have all kinds of information on what types of disease may cause infertility, and what treatment is available. They even list grants that are available to help couples fund their treatments. There is a helpline you can call to talk to a volunteer about your struggles, and they also have in person support groups listed on their site.
I am stronger than I thought I was
Infertility made me feel like the weakest person ever. There were nights that I cried myself to sleep because I thought that I would never have a chance to be called “mom”. But looking back at those moments, I wasn’t weak- I was strong. I cried, and did what I needed to do to let my disappointment out, but then I got right back up and tried again. Fighting to become a parent is something that will always be worth fighting for.
Although I no longer have to deal with the stresses and anxieties of infertility the way I did before I had my son, the emotions and struggles will always stay with me. We are one of the lucky ones that were able to actually “graduate” from our reproductive endocrinologist ( fertility doctor), and move on to have a healthy pregnancy, and raise a baby. But infertility will always be a part of me. I will always be passionate about sharing our story, and listening to others who need someone who understands them. If you are reading this, and are one in eight, I am here for you. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will always be an ear to listen.